"Women Talking for Two Hours"
Steel Magnolias — and why we love it
Ben sat next to me on the couch, his eyes wet.
“I don’t see why people think this movie is so great. It’s just women talking for two hours,” he said, in the voice he uses when he’s being sarcastic.
We laughed through our tears and wiped our cheeks.
In truth, Ben, who is both a manly man and emotionally intelligent, loved it. Because Steel Magnolias is two hours of women talking, and so much more.
I think the brilliance of Steel Magnolias is in the subtext. It’s what is not being said. And to make a film in which the real story is under the surface of a lot of talking requires incredible actors. Of which this movie has no shortage.
The leading ladies of Steel Magnolias are:
A young, luminous Julia Roberts: she plays Shelby, the young belle of the small Louisiana town.
An energetic, tense Sally Fields: she plays Shelby’s mother, M’Lynn, who is an authoritarian helicopter parent who is so protective of Shelby because of Shelby’s lifelong struggle with Type 1 diabetes. She is married to Drum (Tom Skerritt).
A sweet, perky Dolly Parton: Truvy owns the beauty salon in which much of the talking takes place. She is also married to Spud (Sam Shepard), an emotionally unavailable man who works offshore on oil rigs.
A wry, sardonic Olympia Dukakis: she is Clairee, a rich widow who knows everything about everyone and always has something to say.
A feisty, crude Shirley MacLaine: she is Ouiser (pronounced: Weezer, which is always how I thought it was spelled until I was researching for this piece). Ouiser is Clairee’s counterpart — also rich, but twice divorced and hates men.
And a naive, impressionable Daryl Hannah: she is Annelle, not sure if she is still married, recently arrived in town from beauty school, and hoping for a job and a fresh start with Truvy.
All of these woman deliver incredible zingers, in their Southern drawls, one-liners you’ll find yourself repeating, such as when Ouiser tells Clairee, “You are evil, and you must be destroyed.” Or another Ouiser favorite, “You are a pig from hell.”
(If you need to know the context for these lines, go watch the movie now!)
One line that really made me laugh and I re-wound to watch again was in Annelle’s introductory monologue in front of all the women. They’ve been questioning her on whether or not she’s married (Ouiser: “Are you married, or not? These are not difficult questions.”) and Annelle says, “Miss Truvy, I swear to you that my personal tragedy will not interfere with my ability to do good hair.” I would like that on vinyl sticker, please!
Surprisingly, only Julia Roberts was nominated for an Oscar for this one, but I haven’t done the research to find out the other films in the running in 1990. All I know is — these women have all won Oscars in my heart. They’ve all had incredible careers.
I first saw this movie when I was a teenager. I may have watched it one other instance, until the other night.
What I remember of it from my teenage years could be summed up this way: a happy-sad movie about a sweet young woman played by Julia Roberts who gets married and has a tragic story. Her husband is handsome, but not really in the movie much. Dolly Parton and Sally Fields are in it, too. And I love it. And it’s a great movie to watch when you need to cry but can’t make yourself do it so you watch Sally Fields fall apart and then by the end you’re crying happy tears and laughing through them.
Now that I’ve seen it again, as a 29 year old who lost a close family member to a dreadful disease, I understand the film’s nuances. I think this movie is about three things:
First, it’s about a mother-daughter relationship. Theirs is a complicated one, because of Shelby’s disease. M’Lynn loves Shelby deeply, but doesn’t always understand her. She’s so protective of Shelby that it gets in the way of loving her the way Shelby is asking her to. Even when Shelby is an adult, M’Lynn treats and loves her like a child.
But at a crucial moment in the film, a subtle shift occurs, and M’Lynn begins to support Shelby (which she couldn’t do without the support of her friends). And this is where the second theme comes in.
This film is about the unanswered questions we have to live with in this broken world. All of the “what if’s” that arise in one’s mind after a tragedy. Was it preventable? If this character had made a different choice, would the outcome have been different? Yes, but would it have been better?
How do we live with the outcome that we may have been able to prevent, but which also brings such beauty and joy into our lives? Beauty and joy that otherwise wouldn’t exist if the other choice had been made?
None of these questions are spoken aloud. Like I said, it’s all in the subtext, which is what makes it so brilliant.
And it culminates in one of the most, in my opinion, skillfully acted scenes in cinema: Sally Fields expressing her grief to her dearest friends. She moves through all of the most extreme emotions, and as she talks with her friends, we are moved to tears and laughter in the same breath. We experience the depths of those emotions with her.
Now for the third thing: none of these emotions could have been expressed the way they were without the unique input of each of M’Lynn’s friends. Annelle has to say the “Christian” thing to get the ball rolling. M’Lynn responds with deep sadness and resignation. Truvy tries to help, and between her and Annelle, they bring out M’Lynn’s manic anger of grief. Clairee and Ouiser’s absurd antics break the tension and leave everyone laughing.
Doesn’t this resonate with real life? Sometimes the only way we know to deal with pain is by using humor. Sometimes that’s okay, even more than okay.
Steel Magnolias is about the women. It’s about women supporting each other in the best way they know how. They are loyal through it all. Sometimes they hurt more than they help. In the end, their friendship makes all of life’s inevitable pain, heartache, joy, and triumph all the more rich and meaningful.
Where would we be without our dearest female friends?
Ben pointed out that none of the men say much at all in this film. They are always there, hovering in the background. Drum antagonizes Ouiser. He’s always there for M’Lynn and Shelby’s, ready to jump in when called on. Jackson is the handsome young husband who sweeps Shelby off her feet and away from the small town. Spud is mostly off shore. He’s faithful to Truly, but seems depressed and distant. In the end, each man shows up for his woman, but it’s subtle and it isn’t heroic. Steel Magnolias is not about the men.
It strikes me that this is representative of the story’s era and place in history, in the South in the 1980’s. While the men are off working and providing, the women are looking after their homes and their families. They’re occupying each other with idle town gossip and talking about their lives as Truvy does their nails and hair in her carport salon. And they aren’t just talking about their lives. Life is happening realtime in the salon, in their conversations.
It’s simple. It’s profound. It’s funny and devastating. It’s women talking for two hours — two hours you won’t soon forget.
Steel Magnolias is based on a true story. It was originally an Off-Broadway play before it was adapted for the screen in 1989. You can currently stream the film on Netflix or rent it on Amazon.