The Wedding Edit
The church bells are ringing! Here are some of my favorite wedding movies
You may have noticed it’s been quiet here on Leading Ladies this summer.
While I would like to say that I have locked-in writing habits that would be uninterrupted by seasonal, life-changing events — alas, I do not. Yet. Working on it. Hence, Atomic Habits being the next book on my reading list. Anyways…
One of those life-changing events happened to me! This past June!
On a lovely, sunny, breezy day in Brooklyn, New York, my then-boyfriend and now-fiancé got down on one knee and asked me to marry him. After crying and blubbering excessively, I asked if I had actually said “yes” and put the beautiful ring Ben had chosen, with an heirloom solitaire, on my finger.
I had absolutely no clue Ben was planning to propose that weekend. We left New York City on a Monday, blissfully engaged, and when we arrived back home, we immediately jumped into planning. And watching wedding movies.
I’ve compiled your must-watch wedding short list of five films and one bonus, complete with notes on why, when, and with-whom you should watch them! If I’m missing any of your faves, drop a note in the comments! If I mentioned one of your faves, drop a note in the comments, too!
First, a prerequisite: to qualify as a “wedding movie”, there must be a wedding in it. A march down the aisle, an exchange of vows, a kiss.
So, as much as I love The Proposal (Sandra Bullock, Ryan Reynolds), it does not qualify as a wedding movie because (SPOILER) they only get engaged for real at the end, versus actually getting married.
With that in mind, let’s get watching!
The Leading Ladies Wedding Edit
My Big Fat Greek Wedding (2002)
It’s just… so good. Every time. A bit of a Cinderella story, an intro to Greek culture, a feel-good ending.
I grew up watching this one in my adolescent years and quoting famous lines like, “I fixed the bundt cake” and “put some windex on it” and “why does everyone want to leave me?”
Ples my two all time favorites from Toula’s mom, Maria:
“Let me tell you something, Toula. The man is the head, but the woman is the neck. And she can turn the head any way she wants.”
And:
“Greek women, we may be lambs in the kitchen, but we are tigers in the bedroom.”
Watch this anytime, with anyone and everyone! A classic, family friendly event. I watched it the weekend of my engagement party with my mom and roommate at the time (who was also engaged and is now married!!). There’s just something about being the bride-to-be and watching Toula put on her wedding dress…
Father of the Bride (1991)
Wow, people just don’t plan weddings like this anymore! Or at least, in my world, they don’t. Hiring a wedding planner. Counting physical RSVPs. The dining room filling with wedding gifts of crystal and silver. Hosting a full reception at one’s childhood home with all-out catering service under a decked-out tent in the backyard. It’s more extravagant than a Pinterest board!
In this sweet — and yet surprisingly sad — Steve Martin comedy, the bride lives at home with her parents, George and Nina Banks. They are very involved in the planning of this wedding, and hire a wedding planner, played by Martin Short, who is the bane of George Banks’s existence. His swans, tulip border, and cake cost George more money than he wants to spend.
But underneath the money comments is George’s real issue: he’s not ready to acknowledge the fact that his little girl is grown up, is a woman, and is leaving him to get married.
In the end, it’s a lesson in what not to do, a comedic, cautionary tale: fathers, don’t let your bottled emotions about your daughters growing up get in the way of actually being present and supportive in the transition. Fathers, don’t exasperate your children. Fathers, maybe don’t let over-the-top wedding planners like Franck make event decisions that take you away from the most important moments of the day (for example, maybe host the reception somewhere that has parking for all two hundred guests).
Fathers and brides, watch this one together (or alone) and, again, far in advance of the wedding. Feel the feels: it’s the end of an era, and your relationship will change. For me personally, this is especially bittersweet: while Steve Martin is missing all the moments when he doesn’t have to, my father isn’t here on earth anymore and doesn’t have that option.
My takeaways from watching Father of the Bride earlier this summer (before I got engaged) are: cherish the moments together, keep things simple, mourn the past so you can welcome the future.
Bridesmaids (2011)
I saw this movie in theaters the summer after I graduated from high school. My friend and I thought we were so cool, sneaky, and edgy going to an R-rated movie. And then we spotted one of our private Christian school administrators and his wife also seated for the matinee showing… whoops!
I remember thinking at the time: this is the first movie I’ve seen that’s primarily about a female friendship! Yes, there’s a little side plot of romance for one of the leads, but the main point is the relationship between Annie, who’s basically a mess, and her friend Lillian, who gets engaged (her husband to be is in three scenes, maybe?).
Lillian asks Annie to be her maid of honor, but from the moment Lillian shows Annie her engagement ring, we can see that Annie is about to have a rough time letting her friend go, letting their relationship change.
This movie is rated R for several reasons (read about them on IMDb). But it’s honestly just so heartfelt and sincere; I love it every time! And I’ve probably seen it as least five times, if not more!
There were so many times I wanted to quote this film while dating Ben, but I couldn't. He, incredibly, hadn’t seen it. We finally watched it together a few weeks after Ben proposed, and 1) he didn’t fall asleep (he gets up early for work), 2) he thought it was hilarious, especially Jon Hamm’s scenes, and 3) he now quotes it with me.
Watch it with your fiancé or your besties/bridesmaids. Watch it before, or maybe after, all of the bridal events that precede a wedding. It just depends — do you want to be relieved that your events weren’t the disaster that they are in the movie, or do you want to learn from Annie’s mistakes? That’s for you to decide.
And this movie solidifies several things for me: Kristen Wiig is one of the funniest people on screen, Jon Hamm’s comedy is underrated, and I love Judd Appatow’s (the producer’s) sense of humor. I just really enjoy his films, another of which will be mentioned shortly. But first, since we’ve got a comedy for the bridesmaids, here’s one for the groom and his men:
I Love You, Man (2009)
Peter (Paul Rudd, always great) is engaged to Zooey (Rashida Jones) but has always been more comfortable with female friendships. The issue? He has no one to be his best man in his wedding. One day, while facilitating a real estate open house, he meets Sydney (Jason Segel).
A bromance commences.
In this incredibly cringy yet hilarious BROM COM (new term), Paul Rudd pulls off what I think few could: a very awkward, completely sincere pushover who just wants to make everyone in his life happy and never cause any conflicts.
He has some comedic moments that are truly impressive. It’s not over the top in a Will Ferrel “I-know-I’m-being-ridiculous” kind of way. Again, it’s sincere and Rudd plays it so straight. As my fiancé Ben often says, Paul Rudd should write a celebrity memoir, but he’s the kind of guy who wouldn’t do that. He’s too humble. (We feel like we know him.)
Paul Rudd is the actor that I often forget about but always enjoy when he’s in something (i.e. The Fundamentals of Caring).
Grooms, watch this with your groomsmen on the bachelor weekend! You’ll appreciate your deep, long-time friendships and that you didn’t have to spend your engagement trying to make a new buddy so you have someone to stand with you at the altar. Although new friends can be wonderful, that’s not what you want for your big day.
The Five-Year Engagement (2012)
I’m not sure if everyone approaches film and television this way. For me, one of the criteria for deciding what to watch is: am I familiar with the actors, directors, producers and do I like their work?
There is so much out there (too much, perhaps). With streaming services, the possibilities are endless. You sit down one night for a roomie date night, like I did, and the last thing you want to do is spend half an hour just trying to pick the movie you want to watch.
With plenty of rom coms on Netflix to choose from, my roommate (shoutout to Alexa!) and I (both engaged) wanted to watch a wedding movie. There were some Made-For-Netflix options, but I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. What if it was dumb or bad?
Then The Five-Year Engagement popped up. I had seen it years ago, and Alexa hadn’t. It stars Emily Blunt (love) and Jason Segel (classic), and is produced by Judd Appatow (awesome). Chris Pratt makes a delightful appearance.
Blunt and Segel get engaged at the beginning of the film, and for the next two hours it’s a slightly stressful and very wild journey—that takes them from San Fransisco to Michigan and back—to the altar. Segel is a top chef in the Bay Area, but Blunt gets accepted to the University of Michigan. If they delay the wedding until they achieve these other goals, how will their relationship fair?
Similarly to Bridesmaids, it’s a what-not-to-do cautionary tale that plays on the fears of my generation: will we still get to pursue our dreams if we get married? Or does one person’s dream take precedent over the other’s, and what does that look like?
Also, without giving away any spoilers, this film is going to make you want to elope more than any other. Watch it with your fiancé, but after you’ve booked your venue and caterers, so you won’t be so tempted to scrap it all and go to the courthouse the next day!
Not to say that eloping or micro-weddings are bad or wrong. In fact, they might be right for some people and circumstances! But for me and Ben, our wedding day is one of the few days in our lives that we get to have all our closest friends and family in the same place to bear witness to our vows, celebrate one of the biggest decisions of our lives, and hold us to it. We’ve certainly been tempted to elope, and the pandemic normalized it, but the conviction to ask for those witnesses (and the desire for a huge dance party) keeps our eyes on the prize.
Bonus Pick: Much Ado About Nothing (1993)
For a slightly more elevated and high culture comedy experience, watch this Kenneth Branagh adaptation of Shakespeare’s Much Ado About Nothing.
As I’ve been writing up the previous movies, this film kept coming to mind! While I can’t remember exactly if there’s a wedding ceremony at the end of the movie, one of the things that distinguishes a Shakespeare comedy from a tragedy is whether or not the story ends in marriage or death. Much Ado About Nothing definitely ends in at least the betrothal, if not the actual marriage, of two couples.
It’s a riot, it’s accessible, and it is an impressive feat of Shakespearean interpretation, which should come as no surprise since Branagh directed it. We’ve got some big time actors here in their youthful prime: Kenneth (of course), Emma Thompson (fiery), Keanu Reeves (come on!), and Denzel Washington (yes!!) to name a few.
The repartee between Thompson and Branagh throughout is chilling, impeccable, and filled with tension that makes Darcy’s and Elizabeth’s look like child’s play.
Watch this one anytime, anywhere, and with anyone, Shakespeare lover or not! If not, hopefully Much Ado will make them one.